Backstage Laughs: Theater Jokes and True Stories
Today I wanted to blog about Behind the Curtain: Theater Jokes and Stories You Can’t Make Up — the funny, unexpected, and sometimes unbelievable moments that happen when you spend your life in theater. Whether it’s an actor forgetting a line, a prop disappearing at exactly the wrong moment, or a rehearsal taking a completely unexpected turn, theater has a way of creating stories that are funnier than anything we could write.
If you’ve ever spent time in a theater, you know that some of the funniest moments don’t happen because they were written into the script. They happen backstage. They happen during rehearsal.They happen when a prop disappears, an actor forgets a line, a costume decides it has a mind of its own, or someone says the most dangerous words in theater:
“I have an idea.”
My previous collection of theater jokes was one of my most popular posts, which proves something important: theater people love laughing at themselves. You can read them here: Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh
And honestly, we have plenty of material. After all, theater is the only place where a missing shoe, a wrong entrance, and a broken piece of scenery can become a story people tell for years.
So here are some more theater jokes — plus a few reminders that sometimes the funniest moments are the ones nobody planned.
How Many Theater People Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
(The answer depends on who you ask.
Playwrights
How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
“Change? Why does it have to change? It was perfect just the way I wrote it.”
Directors
How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
“Before we decide, tell me what the light bulb wants.”
Stage Managers
How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb?
“I don’t care! Just do it!”
Actors
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them.
One to change it, and the rest to sit backstage giving offstage direction about how they would have done it better.
Audience Members
How many audience members does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, one child to start crying, and one person to shout: “Look, Bob! He’s changing the light bulb!”
Those jokes work because every theater group has its own version of these people. But the truth is, the funniest theater stories usually aren’t jokes at all. They’re things that actually happened.
You Can’t Make Up This Stuff
The Forgotten Line
I’ve directed hundreds of plays and musicals. Plus, I’ve performed in many, too. Live theater is known for off center moments.
The Prop Disaster
Part of the reason I love theater as much as I do is because you make close friendships over the years of performing with the same people. For instance, I was portraying Mrs. Frank in The Diary of Anne Frank. My good friend, Jim was Mr. Frank. We’d known each other for many years. One of the scenes in the play includes Hanukkah. Picture this: The family is seated at their small table and Mr. Frank picks up the Hebrew Bible and reads from it. Except one night, the bible wasn’t there. The prop crew forgot to preset it on the table.
We know as actors, it is best to memorize everything you say even if you read it aloud in the play for just these situation. Jim didn’t do that. The lights came up on the scene. Looking at Jim I saw his startled and worried face. Then I looked at the table and realize…no bible.
Another thing actors know to do is to improvise if something goes akilter. Jim smiles at me like, “Don’t worry I’ve got this covered.” I remember he said something about “We jews were getting out of Egypt and we are celebrating with this meal because if they hadn’t left, the baby Jesus would have been killed.” Then top it all off, my line after his was “Amen.” Needless to say, it was all we could do not to break out in laughter. I think someone gave him a bible as a gag gift later. 🙂
Looking for some pre-made joke slides? Check this out: Drama Class Jokes of the Day
The Costume Moment
I was working on tech. crew in my high school show of The Miracle Worker. Once during the end of the famous dinner scene when Helen throws a fit, Anne drags her out of the dining room and over to the well pump. This is the same well where Helen speaks for the first time. Most audience members are familiar with this important moment in Helen’s life. The fighting that night had been particularly rough. Apparently Barbara (playing Anne) caught her heel in her skirt as they made their way out of the house to the well, her skirt came loose and slowly revealed her underwear underneath it. Not only that, but this was the really famous scene everyone waits for when they see the play. And it was almost ruined by a skirt hook!
In college I was performing in summer stock which was part of the Stephens College Theater Arts program. It was the last performance of the summer. Everyone was exhausted, including me. I was playing the lead which meant I had to keep my head down and concentrate far harder than other cast members who played minor roles. They could afford to joke around on and off stage.
My friend, Lesley, portrayed an arrogant, snobby elite women. Her wig, called a pouf, was especially tall and elaborate which was popular in the 1770s and 1780s. I remember watching her drag herself on the stage and saying her line exhaustedly. As you might expect, her male sa counterpart said his line and then he was to dip her. Well, he dipped her with too much enthusiasm and her wig fell right off!
The Night Everything Went Wrong
Sometimes I think the set and props attack you. This happened to me in Brighten Beach Memoirs. In the course of two hours I tripped over the rug and spilled the tea cups all over a tray, slammed the porch door a little too hard which pulled it off its hinges. Finally, I puffed the sofa cushions hard enough that one of them ripped. Luckily, the play was a comedy and the audience thought it was part of the show.
More Theater Laughs
Why is tech week different from every other week?
Because every other week has sleep.
What is the most dangerous phrase in theater?
“I have an idea.”
Why do theater people love live performances?
Because no two shows are ever exactly the same.
Sometimes intentionally.
Sometimes not.
What is the greatest theater skill?
Making chaos look intentional.
The reason people love theater is not because everything goes perfectly.
It’s because when things don’t go perfectly, talented people find a way to keep the story alive.
The lights come up. The curtain opens. And somehow…the show goes on.
Break a leg!
P.S. In rehearsal for The Importance of Being Earnest, I was to hug the preacher’s head rather lustfully. His hat popped right off his head and flew across the floor. Never could get it to happen again, but I will never forget that scene.