Production Questions

Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

June 22, 2022 By dhcbaldwin Leave a Comment

Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

Congratulations! You’ve been hired to teach theater and direct several productions a year. You probably have the class curriculum nailed down or you are in the midst of it. However, you realize that although you have some experience on stage as a performer, you may need some help with other facets of a production. This post should help–Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

When I majored in theater at Stephens College about a 100 years ago, although I was mostly interested in performing we were expected to work backstage for the first semester. I still think that’s an excellent idea. Some students who began as performance majors find they are more suited to stage management, costume or set design for instance. Plus, an actor needs to understand what goes into mounting a production.

Too many people get out there and think they are going to end up on the Broadway stage after their first audition. Many give up too quickly, but perhaps if they’d found another way to be involved with theater they would have stayed with it.

I love theater so much, I didn’t care if all I ever did was sweep the stage–it was that important to me. If you want to know how theater saved my life, go to How Theatre Saved My Life

Newbie Theater Teacher Expectations

It’s only natural to think that when you enter your first teaching position in your career, everything is provided for your classroom and stage. You may have come from a high school or certainly college which fully supported the theater arts department. That’s understandable and certainly the way it should be.

Some high schools even have technical directors who oversee the technical aspects of productions and teach the technical theater classes. That’s terrific!

You expect to have a lot of materials and resources all ready organized–set pieces, costumes, makeup, storage space, etc. If the school and their theater department has been in existence for several years, you should expect to take what was left from the previous teacher and grow from there.

Did you know I have the secret to boosting student engagement? My new book, “We’re Live! Radio Theater #101” explains my journey to implementing this unique tool in the classroom. Check it out here

The Reality

Here is the reality– In many school systems, the theater department and arts in general are looked upon as unimportant. (Because the general public does not understand what it takes to teach theater much less produce a play or musical.) Generally, the arts play second fiddle to sports. It’s not fair and not right but it happens all. the.time

If you find a school, which is not a performing arts school, who supports the arts you are lucky to teach there.

I can’t even count how many times people have said, “This school doesn’t have a budget for me! They don’t have materials or resources for mounting a production. What do I do?”

Tip: One question you need to ask when you interview for any teaching position should be about the budget for your classes and/or productions. If the administrator doesn’t know the budget, this is a red flag. It doesn’t mean you don’t have a budget, but this is easy to ascertain for them and they should be willing to divulge it.

Tip: When you interview, ask to see the stage and check out backstage as well. See if they have any costumes, props or set pieces. Do they have stage lights, light trees and amplification equipment? Does anyone else use the stage other than the theater department? Who and how much time do they use it?

Tip: Find out if there is a parent booster club for the arts. They are invaluable to your success at this particular school. They can help you in many ways–fundraising, building sets and sewing costumes, advertising and box office.

Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

If the school doesn’t have a production budget, the first thing you will need to do is raise money to pay the expenses of the production. These expenses can range anywhere from $500 to (gulp) $10,000 a piece. Consider ticket prices and talk with other teachers in the district to see what they charge. Check out my fundraising suggestions here: Turn Your Theater Department Fundraising Into A High Performing Machine

If your set inventory doesn’t have much to offer, then you may need to build flats. There are many ways to do so. I’d check out this video for instruction on building a Hollywood flat. Or you can build a muslin flat.

I’d suggest watching the Cal State A & L videos on youtube.com They teach just about everything you’d need to know in a clear and concise method.

If you need help with costume design, check out my post: Critical Steps in Producing a Play or Musical: Costumes

One of my lesser strengths is light design. I know what I want, but I don’t know how to make it happen. I defer to my husband about light design because he’s designed for me for years. (See the photo above) In your case, I’d check Cal State for help there.

My Most Important Advice

Many directors of school productions think they have to produce their shows having the quality of a Broadway production. Not only is this unreasonable to expect of yourself, but not necessary. If you do a good job and balance the production so that everything is of equal quality (your show is imbalanced if the only set piece which was completed for your set is the staircase you spent all month building for your play), then you can rest knowing you did your best under the circumstances.

You should not be expected to do more with less. Just do the best you can understand the circumstances. You shouldn’t spend all weekend for several months working on one production. You shouldn’t be doing all the work yourself. Don’t forget that without YOU, none of the magic happens and the students need YOU the most.

What is most important is what your students learn from the experience, right?

Here are a few blog posts that can answer some questions or help you:

Critical Steps in Producing a Play or Musical: Stage Makeup

Critical Steps in Producing a Play or Musical: Costumes

My Advice for FREE

I am willing to advise you for free. You can find me many places– on instagram @dramamommaspeaks, Facebook @dramamommaspeaks or email me at DhcBaldwin@gmail.com. I have been where you are now. Luckily, you have someone like me to advise you.

No one learns much of anything completely by themselves. A good teacher asks for advice and help. You will be a better teacher for it, I promise!

If you’ve had any experiences you’d like to share, please hit reply and share them with me. I’d love to hear from you.

You can contact me at DhcBaldwin@gmail.com

The Real Skills You Should Look For In A Stage Director

January 26, 2022 By dhcbaldwin Leave a Comment

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

Have you wondered about the real skills you should look for in a director for the stage?

When I was twenty-four years old, I fell into directing.

At the time, I was part of a blossoming community theater who produced monster seasons each year. Not only that, but they produced wonderful productions of shows such as South Pacific, The Music Man, Macbeth, The Odd Couple, etc. It was exciting!

Next show of the season was The Miracle Worker. The president of the company called asking, “There is no one to direct The Miracle Worker. We think you’d do a great job. Would you be willing to head it up?”

Gulping, I said yes.

That was the beginning of my directing journey. Now nearly forty years later, I’ve directed over 250 plays and musicals with adults and children alike. Whew!

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

My second time to direct *The Miracle Worker*

Truly, I have a perfect temperament for directing– natural born leader, charismatic, creative, inspiring and encouraging.

Luckily, I attended Stephen College in Columbia, Missouri and we trained as actors and technical theater positions. I have plenty of experience as a property mistress, costumer, box office, house management, set construction and so forth.

There have been many times I’ve attended a production and wondered who directed it, because the show appears disorganized. You know what I mean–one costume is fabulous while the next is from a different time period. Or the staircase piece is magnificent, but the basic set looks unfinished. In community theater, it is not uncommon for volunteers to be doing everything–performing and building the set. That’s not a negative, but a positive in my book.

(Don’t know much about community theater? Check out my post– Are You Missing These Kind of People in Your Life?)

When directing, I require my casts to put in some time building the set or helping sew costumes or gathering props. I think it helps them to see that every aspect is important to a production. You’ll see me there helping, too.

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

Julie Taymor, Spider-Man Director - Her Career on Stage, Screen - Photos - WSJ — Julie Taymore, Director of Spider Man the Musical

What are the skills a stage director needs? I was looking around the internet and stumbled upon this page from Berkley University which states,

“Successful directors possess a large suite of interpersonal skill, including personal and artistic sensitivity, aesthetic acuity, excellent communication and organization, and the confidence to lead and inspire others through a difficult and unpredictable process. They are superb multitaskers and steady as a rock in the face of adversity.

While not all directors are great collaborators, all must understand how to facilitate the collaborative process and synthesize the efforts of large creative teams. Finally, it’s vital that directors possess the ability to think critically and analytically about a text, and the passion and conviction to pursue their interpretations.

It’s the director’s job to answer the difficult question of “why”: why stage this show here, now, with these actors and for this audience? In essence, why does this performance matter?”

Their professional skills include:

Hiring and leading a production team
Casting and running auditions
Basic theatrical design
A unique vision
Critical and analytical thinking
Communication
Collaboration
Leadership
Multitasking
Networking
Time management

They must be:

Creative
Flexible
Encouraging
Positive
Excellent problem solvers
Self aware
Inspiring
Imaginative
Ethical
Unbiased
Organized

In short, they must be perfect! Ha!

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Director for the Stage

Upcoming Event: Devised Theater Workshop with Rachel Chavkin | Department of Theater — Rachel Chavkin directing Hadestown, the Musical

Several times a month, I read in Facebook groups of theater teachers begging for help. Much like my scenario, they’ve been thrown into directing the school play or musical. It’s difficult enough to direct young actors, but it’s made more challenging when a novice director must also serve as the production’s artistic director.

Recently, It dawned on me that I could help these novices. Oddly sometimes I forget how much I’ve experienced–such as the time a student did a back flip off a bench (without my permission) only to break his arm right there in front of an audience or when a bat flew down from the catwalk of an old theater and out into the audience or the time I bumped a table with the cd player on it and made it skip a section of a dance in Fiddler on the Roof I directed.

Yes, I’ve been through the ups and downs and have the scars to prove it! .

I got to work and made eight checklists for directors to use the day of a production’s opening night. These checklists include: set, costume, lights, sound, props, box office, concessions and stage management. A director can hand them out to various crew heads and merely checked off once the job has been completed.

The Importance of a Leader Being Organized

I was looking for information about the reasons being an organized leader is important and found this great quote from www.commonsenseleadership.com,

“Being organized sends a positive image, which is so important as leaders are signal senders. We want to send an image that we have it all together, that we can and will focus on what is most important, not things that keep us busy and may not have the most beneficial impact.

Fact is, being organized enables us to be more productive, set an example for our team members and impress our external clients – to more efficiently manage our time.”

So good, huh?

Another attribute of a great director is somewhere aware of time. They are first to rehearsals, follow their rehearsal schedule time allotments, don’t keep their actors late for unecessary reasons just to name a few. I was taught,

If you are early, you are on time.

If you are on time, you are late.

If you are late, you are in trouble.”

You Don’t Want to Be This Director

One director I worked with thought nothing of keeping an entire cast very late in evening at the last dress rehearsal only to give notes to just three cast members. We were exhausted for opening night and then she’d gripe we had no energy on stage. WHAT?!? Needless to say, she ran off fabulous talent with this behavior.

Not me! I understand my casts have volunteered and although the audience applause is their “payment”, they still gave up their free time to perform in the show.

When my cast wants to socialize during rehearsal, I ask them to arrive early. That gives them time to chat and it keeps us to my rehearsal time. Usually, I take breaks during rehearsal and stay to the time I’ve planned for each part of the rehearsal. I’m respectful of people’s time.

You have no idea how much people appreciate this.

If you want to save time, frustration and take aware your worry, pick up a copy of these checklists. I wish I’d had them when I began directing in 1980.

Pick up my Director’s Helper Checklist here: Director’s Checklist

Have you directed a production? What experiences have you enjoyed? I’d love to know. Contact me at DhcBaldwin@gmail.com or my website at DeborahBaldwin.net

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

October 20, 2021 By dhcbaldwin 7 Comments

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

When becoming a drama teacher, I had high hopes of ending up in a large high school. But life didn’t work that way.Instead, I developed and administrated several youth theater companies for community theaters. Once our daughters were in elementary school and I no longer needed to stay home with them, I went back to teaching. Today, I’m going to discuss Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production.

For many years, I taught at the same time as I ran the youth programs (my last teaching position included teaching students in second through twelfth) with all of these other responsibilities. It was a crazy busy time, but It was necessary and I enjoyed it.

Thirty-eight plus years later, I can see my talents and knowledge were best used with students of every grade level. Surprisingly, I enjoyed teaching middle school students the most, but I liked directing the high school ones. Frankly, it was just easier.

Middle School Students Versus High School Students

Although as I write this, that isn’t really factual either. Let me put it this way–middle school students are fresh, accepting and diligent. High school students are quick, discerning and trusting if they think you know your stuff.

I do.

From time to time, teachers email me asking for advice on selecting a musical for their school or youth theater program. I’ve directed over 250 plays and musicals through the years. I’m glad I can help others.

Do you need some guidance? Here are my thoughts on the subject.

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

Talent pool--Of course, we’d all like our talent pool to be large. Middle school students voices begin to change (especially boys) and if you cast the show in September it’s likely by the time you open in November your male lead’s voice may have dropped. That’s okay. Teach him how to talk sing his lyrics and he’ll be fine.
Number of Students–More important than the talent pool is the number of students which are interested and the number of roles available if the show you’ve selected. Can you cast everyone? Do you want to involved everyone? I wouldn’t recommend using a particular show as a recruitment tool. Start small if your department is new at your school and over tie you can produce large cast shows. There’s nothing wrong with tempting interested students who have never acted to have to wait until the second production. It makes the experience all the more special.
Funds for producing–Can your budget afford the production you selected? Musicals are notoriously expensive, but they usually bring in the larger audiences.
Costumes and Set Requirements–What about the needs of the costumes and the set? Are the costumes something you can rent or build? Do you have volunteers to sew them? Do characters change costumes many times? Does the set have anything that is crucial to it? Can you design a set which is inexpensive, but gets across the setting? Or do you have a technical theater director and students to build it?

Here’s one show I think is great for middle school–Willy Wonka, Jr.

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

A quick synopsis—Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka JR. follows enigmatic candy manufacturer Willy Wonka as he stages a contest by hiding golden tickets in five of his scrumptious candy bars. Whomever comes up with these tickets will win a free tour of the Wonka factory, as well as a lifetime supply of candy. Four of the five winning children are insufferable brats, but the fifth is a likeable young lad named Charlie Bucket, who takes the tour in the company of his equally amiable grandfather. The children must learn to follow Mr. Wonka’s rules in the factory — or suffer the consequences.
Characters–I love the characters in Willy Wonka, Jr. Plus, students enjoy them, too! What’s easiest for students to portray? Characters near their age. There’s Verua Salt, Charlie Bucket, August Gloop, Violet Beauregarde and Mike Teevee. Plus, there are the roles of the parents, the Oompa Loompas,Charlie’s grandparents and of course Willy Wonka. (Several times, I’ve cast Willy Wonka with a female.)
Costumes, Sets and Props--I’ve been lucky enough to have parent volunteers who create the stage properties for me. Some of these props can be collected easily, but a few need more attention–the chocolate bars, the fizzing lifting drink, etc. But a warning if you are new to producing a musical: they notoriously have many stage properties.
Audience appeal–Roald Dahl’s book of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or which the musical was adapted is quite popular with children to read and the title has word recognition. Whole families can attend without any worry about subject matter or language. Everyone can relate to the story–from the children contestants to the parents. Some of the best lines are Willy Wonka’s asides to the audience. They come across as private jokes and that’s such fun.
Music–Oh my gosh, it’s so clever! It’s written in key signatures young voices can reach and sing strongly. No trying to reach notes which are completely out of their range. Students pick it up quickly, plus Music Theater International provides rehearsal CDs for your students to use. Personally, I think the rehearsal cd is worth its weight in gold. Students become very confident singing because they learn the music right along with the CD. If you’ve never used the MTI rehearsal cds, you will not believe how much it helps the students.

If you are considering double casting, check out Double Casting a Show?

Having directed Willy Wonka, Jr. four times, I know it very well. It never grows old.

I have one complaint

Length–The show is a little long (In the past, I’ve cut reprises near the end. I even gave one of the Oompa Loompa reprises to the contestants in the Willy Wonka contest.) If you have students which can sustain their energy for ninety minutes, then great! It’s my experience that the length drains their energy. I mean, they are only kids, you know?

If you would like more information about directing a production, check out Critical Steps in Selecting a Play or Musical: Budget & Royalties or Critical Steps in Producing a Play or Musical: Costumes

Create Your Own Musical Lesson

Are you looking for a lesson to engage your students which teaches about writing a musical? Here is one.

Create Your Own Musical

Teach your students the process of creating a musical of their own! This lesson gives your students an opportunity to work cooperatively and become playwrights and lyricists by adapting a portion of a children’s book. It is most successful with students in sixth through eighth grade, especially students new to theater class or in a Language Arts class. In addition, a teacher could use this lesson with students who are distance learning #DistanceLearningTPT

Please note: To teach this lesson, you will need to check your school library or purchase several children’s books. I used a Berenstain Bears book for the example.

This product includes:

a letter to the teacher
warm up—MY version of this popular exercise
teacher’s script–what I say and how I say it!
procedure for the entire lesson
outline assignment
example of outline
detailed assignment sheet for students
storyboard template
rubric–FULLY EDITABLE
links
sources

I hope this helps you and gives you a nice start to selecting a musical to produce with students. If you need any more help, please feel free to contact me at DhcBaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net

Want a FREE guide and lesson plan to help you teach creative dramatics in your classroom? Go to https://dramamommaspeaks.respond.ontraport.net/

Critical Steps in Producing a Play or Musical: Stage Makeup

May 15, 2018 By dhcbaldwin 3 Comments

Let’s talk about steps in producing a play or musical: stage makeup

This is a true story.

When I was in seventh grade, I wanted to wear makeup. Of course, that was about 100 years ago, so let’s keep it in perspective….. My mother wasn’t ready for that step in my life quite yet, but I was. Boy, was I ready. I read in a Seventeen magazine that I could make my own “home made” mascara using charcoal and petroleum jelly. I went to work!

Now I’m not known to be very patient (although I am better now that I have grown older), so I looked around our house for the two ingredients I needed. Hmmm. I found a jar of petroleum jelly in my bathroom cabinet, but charcoal?

The only charcoal I knew of was charcoal briquettes. Being my impatient self and not taking into account that perhaps a charcoal briquette was the wrong kind of charcoal for my DIY mascara, I mixed it into the jelly anyway. Yes. I. Used. A. Charcoal. Briquette.

No kidding.

Needless to say, it was a flop. Upon entering our dining room for dinner that evening while modeling my “homemade mascara”, my mother let out an “Oh my!” Soon after she drove to a Merle Norman store and enrolled me in a class about makeup.

I have refrained from making any other makeup products since that day. I will admit that whenever we grill burgers over charcoal briquettes, I grow a bit misty eyed remembering my DIY makeup days..

The Thrill of Wearing a Costume

Like a costume, stage makeup ranks up there as one of the most popular aspects of theater. For some people, donning a costume and applying makeup IS theater.

A costume and makeup psychologically comforts the actor and helps him to feel “safe.” A good director, especially in amateur theater, must be careful not to lean on a character’s costume and makeup as the only characterization of an actor.

In that case, let’s just put the costume designer on stage and let her perform the show (I doubt she would appreciate that…) because the character solely originates with her and not the actor. Tsk,tsk…

Stage makeup is different than street makeup (makeup worn for everyday use). It is durable, saturated color and easily blended. It’s sturdy–you can cry, eat and have water thrown in your face and the stuff stays on!

staging-258627_960_720[1].jpg — Makeup Designer

Makeup Designer

Since this series of posts concerns producing a play or musical and the critical steps one must take for a successful production, I knew I should discuss stage makeup.

Do you have a makeup designer? If not, a good place to find one is through hairstyling salons. Most hairstylists are trained to do makeup as well as hair. Many hairstylists LOVE this kind of work, because it is so creative.

If I need special makeup (say, for Ursula in Lil Mermaid), I give them photos of my ideas first. Like set and costumes, a designer needs somewhere to begin in their designing. In your budget, you need an amount for stage makeup.

I include wigs and hair needs in that budget, too–hairspray, bobby pins, hair nets, etc. If a designer must build a mustache or beard, that is an additional cost. If you have someone who is familiar with stage makeup, so keep them around. They are invaluable.

If you don’t have budget money for a designer, perhaps you could acknowledge them through your program and give them complimentary tickets to the production?

Specific Makeup Products

Every cast member should own their own makeup, however some things can be shared if you are on a tight budget. If the makeup is selected ala carte, then I suggest you purchase:

foundation–several shades (I like crème foundation, but some people prefer pan.)
hi-light and shadow for contouring
translucent powder to match the foundation
eye brow pencil
blush–several shades
eye shadow–several shades
makeup sponges
spray sealer
makeup remover
eyeliner (should not be shared with others)
mascara (should not be shared with others)
lipstick (should not be shared with others)

You are going to pay more ala carte, than if you buy a kit or collection. Your actors may find that they like owning their own makeup. I have my own makeup when I perform.

There are several companies and different size kits as well. Like a “one size fits all” tee shirt (I have never understood that phrase), you can buy kits such as fair/lightest, to brown/Dark. Ultimately, I suggest you find one close your skin color and work from there with the color provided in the kit.

Ben Nye Makeup is very good as is Mehron. I’m partial to Ben Nye myself. The kits can run as little as $20.00 and upward to $150 for a comprehensive collection. You’ll find what you need quite easily on line.

I played Nellie Forbush in South Pacific when I was in my twenties. This was NOT a character I ever thought I’d play. In my mind, she was “101 pounds of fun” as the song says. I wasn’t that poundage by a long shot. The part called for a bright, cute, sincere and naive young woman. I worried that no one would believe my performance.

My favorite part of the whole experience (other than my husband, then fiancé who was the conductor) was the shower scene.

I actually washed my hair and yes, danced with shampoo in my hair. Then I’d rinse it under ice cold water (!) while speaking with another character, wrapped it up in a towel and exited. In the next five minutes, I dried my hair, reapplied my makeup and donned an elegant full length evening gown, drop earrings and elbow length gloves. It was a blast to do!

Something about those two scenes helped me past the worry. Every night as I stepped on the stage, I knew I was surrounded by a wonderful armor which carried me past my fears and supported my character in a way I could never have done all by myself.

That’s what makeup and a costume can do for you.

As you may know, I have a store on Teacherspayteachers.com I have created several lessons about stage makeup which you may be interested in using in your classroom.

Stage Makeup with Circus Performers

Stage Makeup with Zombies

Or……here’s a bundle of all four of the lessons! Bundle: Stage Makeup Lessons

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net

I’d love to hear from you.

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

March 31, 2017 By dhcbaldwin Leave a Comment

Happy April Fools Day! Theatre Jokes to Make you Laugh

I created this blog post, Happy April Fool’s Day: Theatre Jokes to Make you Laugh, because who doesn’t like to laugh? These jokes are not mine. Credit goes to Whatsonstage.com and Goldenbeardrama.com.

I only compiled them from several sources, but for those in theatre…well, we get them. Enjoy!

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

Two neighbors in Stratford claim that their home is the true birthplace of Shakespeare. Officials in Stratford proposed to solve the dispute by putting a plaque on both their houses.

Two deceased actors meet in heaven. One says: “Good grief, is that Trevor Nunn over there? I didn’t realize he was dead.” His acquaintance, who had a slightly longer experience of the afterlife, replied: “Oh no, that’s God- he just thinks he’s Trevor Nunn.” (I’ve known many an actor who thinks he’s God, trust me. Not only are they obnoxious, but hacks, too.)

Happy April Fool's Day

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

Q: How do you drown an actress?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten – one to hold the bulb and nine to say “it should be me up there”. OR…
A: One – the actor holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmm… Lightbulb… Allow me to ponder the changing of the bulb.

(My daughter was in a Greek play while in college. The director read 38 adaptations of a play before he directed hers. It was horrible. Moral of the story: You can read 1,000 adaptations but if you aint’ got the talent to direct it, it doesn’t matter.)

Q: How many producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Sorry, a new lamp isn’t in the budget.
(I know of one company who threw a very elaborate, expensive cast party, but denied a very dedicated, always responsible volunteer a complimentary ticket saying, “It was too expensive to give you one.” ????

Q: How many lighting designers does is take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It’s a carefully orchestrated blackout.

(Never, never make the lighting designer or crew angry. They can easily put you in the dark because of it.)

Happy April Fool's Day

April Fools Day Theater Jokes for Theater People

An actor without technicians is a naked person, standing on a bare stage, in the dark, trying to emote. A technician without actors is a person with saleable skills.

A stage manager, a sound technician and a lighting designer find a bottle in a corner of the theatre. One of them rubs it and a genie pops out. “Since you all found me,” he says “you each get one wish.” The sound technician steps up and says, “I’d like a million pounds and three beautiful women.” POOF! The sound tech is gone. The lighting designer steps up and says, “Well, if he can have that, I’d like TEN million pounds, and my own personal island with 15 beautiful women!” POOF! The lighting designer is gone. The stage manager steps up and says, “I’d like them both back in ten minutes.”

If “All the world’s a stage, and all the people merely players”… who the **** has my script?

This one is spot on…

19 Jokes That Only True Theatre Nerds Will Understand

More Theatre Jokes for April Fool’s Day

(There is no one more hysterical or dramatic (pun intended) than an actor who can’t find his script, unless they are the overly confident actor who paraphrases anyway.)

Theatrical Logic

In is down, down is front

Out is up, up is back

Off is out, on is in

And of course-

Left is right and right is left

A drop shouldn’t and a

Block and fall does neither

A prop doesn’t and

A cove has no water

Tripping is OK

A running crew rarely gets anywhere

A purchase line buys you nothing

A trap will not catch anything

A gridiron has nothing to do with football

Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)

And a green room, thank god, usually isn’t

Now that you’re fully versed in Theatrical terms,

Break a leg.

But not really.

THE ACTOR’S LESSONS of DESTRUCTION

1. Compromise your principles early and get it over with.

2. Memorize all of the songs from “Cats.”

3. Wear as much spandex as possible to auditions.

4. Wear lots of “comedy and tragedy” accessories.

5. Take your art WAY too seriously.

6. Misquote Shakespeare.

7. If a director doesn’t invite you to callbacks, assume it’s a mistake and go anyway.

8. When you get to callbacks, ask the director “Will this take long?”

9. No matter how many conflicts you have, reply “none.” Hey, it can all be worked out in the end.

10. Overemphasize the lines they laugh at.

11. Mistreat props. Lose them. Take them home with you.

12. Tip the director.

13. Repeatedly ask techies, “Will this be ready by the opening?”

14. Assume the stage manager is there to clean up after you..

15. Stay up late power drinking before early morning calls.

16. Pause for so long after your monologue that they can’t tell if you are done or not.

17. Remember, although you can always be replaced, they can’t replace you until you’ve done a LOT of damage.

18. When your character isn’t talking, mug.

19. Why be onstage when you can upstage?

20. For a touch of realism, upstage yourself.

21. Give fellow actors advice on how to do their characters.

22. If you can’t get a grasp of your character, just do Jack Nicholson.

23. Blocking is for amateurs.

24. Eye contact is for actors afraid to stand on their own.

25. It’s not the quality of the role, it’s what you get to wear.

26. Wear all black and hang out in coffee houses.

27. Change your blocking on opening night.

28. Remember: frontal nudity gets you noticed faster.

29. Use your tongue to make stage kisses look “real.” Blech!

30. Break a leg. Literally.

Happy April Fool's Day

Theatre Jokes: The Actor’s Vocabulary (Edited)

ETERNITY: The time passes between a dropped cue and the next line.

PROP: A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor exactly 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.

DIRECTOR: An individual who suffers from the delusion that they are responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review.

BLOCKING: The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner so as to have them not collide with the walls, furniture, or each other, nor descend precipitously into the orchestra pit. Similar to playing chess, with the exception that, here, the pawns want to argue with you.

BLOCKING REHEARSAL: A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night.

QUALITY THEATRE: Any show with which one was directly involved.

TURKEY: Any show with which one was NOT directly involved.

DRESS REHEARSAL: The final rehearsal during which actors forget everything learned in the two previous weeks as they attempt to navigate the 49 new objects and set pieces that the set designer/director has added to the set at just prior to the DRESS REHEARSAL.

TECH WEEK: The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute. This week reaches its grand climax on DRESS REHEARSAL NIGHT when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown.

SET: An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space.

MONOLOGUE: That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if they forget a line, no one can save them.

More Theatre Joke Definitions

BIT PART: An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else’s lines and mention repeatedly that they have the smallest part in the show.

GREEN ROOM: Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn’t get a baby-sitter that night, a situation which can result in justifiable homicide.

STAGE MANAGER: Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn their walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while they serve the tea.

LIGHTING DIRECTOR: Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that’s going wrong.

ACTOR [as defined by a set designer]: That person who stands between the audience and the set designer’s art, blocking the view.

STAGE RIGHT/STAGE LEFT: Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors batty. (e.g. “…No, no, your OTHER stage right!!!!”)

MAKE-UP KIT: (1) [among experienced Theater actors]: a battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of desiccation, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted pencils, bobby pins, braids of crepe hair, liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes and a handful of half-melted cough drops; (2) [for first-time male actors]: a helpless look and anything they can borrow.

CREW: Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.

MESSAGE PLAY: Any play which its director describes as “worthwhile,” “a challenge to actors and audience alike,” or “designed to make the audience think.” Critics will be impressed both by the daring material and the roomy accommodations, since they’re likely to have the house all to themselves.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast and crew (including the director) has threatened to take out a contract one.

And finally, remember this: “It’s only theater until it offends someone…then it’s ART!”

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Do you know any funny theatre jokes good for April Fool’s Day or any day, really? ? I’d love to learn them.

I have quite a sense of humor myself. If you’d like to see any evidence of it. Check out this lesson:

The Brave Little Tailor

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net

The Diary of Anne Frank: The Most Important Play I’ve Directed

January 26, 2017 By dhcbaldwin 4 Comments

The Diary of Anne Frank: The Most Important Play I’ve Directed

Here is the story of the most important play I’ve directed in 38 years.

Twenty-nine years ago, I had the rare privilege to perform Mrs. Frank in The Diary of Anne Frank. I will never forget the experience. This is one of those shows that seldom comes along but when it does, people flock to participate in it.

Luckily, I had the opportunity to serve as director to the production twenty-two years later. The Diary of Anne Frank is the most important production I’ve directed in my 38 years of my career.

The Diary of Anne Frank: The Most Important Play I’ve Directed

The most important reason to produce The Diary of Anne Frank is because Anne Frank was a real person who lived and died during a terrible time in our history. Her diary is real and validates the facts of this injustice. You’ll want to read to the end of this post. I’ll explain my affinity for it, too.

I hear that Florida banned the graphic novel of The Diary of Anne Frank several years ago–Illustrated Anne Frank book removed by Florida school | AP News Of course this saddens me, but it also worries me very much. Especially in light of the climate of the United States at present–we simply can not forget this story.

We must tell this story over and over again.

A Well-Balanced Cast: Bringing Anne Frank’s Story to Life

The cast totals ten five women and five men, three of which are teen actors.
In my opinion, there is nothing better than a cast varying in age and gender. Of course a young female is needed to portray Anne and another for her sister, Margot. There is a young man, Peter Van Daam, too.
The women’s roles are excellent, especially Mrs. Frank and Mrs. VanDaam. Because they are everything motherly, it is fairly easy to cast them with amateurs. Mr. VanDaam is a nice role with much complexity of which to play. Other than Anne, the most important character is Mr. Frank– a fatherly, husbandly, respectful man who serves as the leader of the families.
The play appeals to all ages. Young teens relate to Anne’s need for privacy, her crush on Peter and continuous disagreements with her mother. I think it is important for our youth to see that even though over seventy years have passed since Anne’s demise in 1945, her wants and needs were much the same as any young girl of today. Even the dialogue sounds like something you might hear emanating from a present day home.

Creating an Intimate Atmosphere for The Diary of Anne Frank
The set consists of one place—the attic, although within it one needs a kitchen area (for preparing real food), an eating area, an attic room and several small bedrooms. The costumes are simple 1940’s style. The props are easy to collect. You do need a lot of beds (6) but that can be readily found. We used cots for my production.
I believe the play is best served in an intimate setting then audience members have the best view to observe the story as it unfolds. The closer the audience is to the actors the better. The first time I was involved in the play a small community theatre produced it.
The audience was no more than six feet from us. However, even as I state this I’m reminded of my directing it on a high school stage in a auditorium of four hundred seats. It didn’t matter. Every moment is riveting and keeps the audience’s attention no matter the size of the venue.

Balancing Humor, Realism, and Emotional Depth in The Diary of Anne Frank
Surprisingly, there are humorous moments in the play. I don’t think people expect them. Most center on Anne and Peter— flirting with each other while trying to grow up as everyone is watching and their first kiss. It is sublime young love, I must say.
The families’ dynamics while sharing the tiny apartment space are exactly those of some unfortunate people living in present day circumstances–sharing one bathroom, multiple people sharing a bedroom, never having enough food to eat and always in despair. These challenges resonate with audiences.Enhancing Authenticity and Emotional Impact in The Diary of Anne Frank
I’d suggest a director invite someone of the Jewish faith to speak with the cast. This person can answer questions, give insight into the plight of the Jews, explain the Jewish faith and serve as advisor when needed.
There is a sound effects CD you can purchase to use for the show. It is conveniently listed with the play on the Dramatists Plays website. This takes care of the sounds that can be difficult to find on your own—the Gestapo marching in the streets, the cathedral bells, etc.
It even includes the sound of the Gestapo banging on the annex’s door. I didn’t utilize it because I thought it was more effective to have a live sound effect at that point in the performance. It gives the audience an opportunity to feel the jolt of surprise and fear the moment the families were taken. Nothing is more frightening and shocking.

The Historical Significance of the Play

Let’s be honest and discuss the most important reason for producing this powerful play.

The Diary of Anne Frank play demonstrates the social injustice and religious persecution of Jewish people during Hitler’s reign.

It’s one thing to study the history of WWII. One can view a video or read a book about it, but nothing compares to observing real people telling the story right in front of you.

An important note: Several years ago Mr. Frank’s monologue near the end of the play was edited and updated. It contains gut wrenching, eye witness accounts of Anne’s last days while living alone in the concentration camp of Bergen-Belzen.

As our World War II veterans pass away and we have fewer and fewer left to share their experiences during the war, eyewitness accounts are tremendously important.

I’d like to state that I’m certain there is no family in world today who is living in similar circumstances to Anne Frank. I’m sad to say I’m certain someone is living this life all over again. Merely look at Syria or Ukraine.

My Personal Connection to the Play

My father was a battalion aid surgeon during WWII. Like many veterans, he never spoke of the war. I do know that he snuck behind enemy lines to deliver a French woman’s baby while under the watchful eye of a sniper. I know he was a prisoner for a few days.

I know he contracted pneumonia from hiking through wet terrain and damaged his ear drum enough to lose the hearing in his ear. I know he was present when they freed Dachau. He felt the warm walls of the crematorium. He saw Jewish prisoners, nearly naked, emaciated, dazed and confused wander out of the camp. These were eye witness accounts, true facts.

That’s all I know.

Maybe in some small way, I am not only remembering the Jewish people but honoring my father’s life by directing this play.

I can help us all to remember and not allow us to repeat ourselves.

Do you want to make a mark on the world? Do you think all people matter? Do you have the opportunity to select a play for a theater’s season? Please consider The Diary of Anne Frank.

If you have the rare opportunity to be involved on this play, shoot me an email, too. If I can, I would be honored to attend.

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or check out my website at DeborahBaldwin.net

Find the play here at DramatistsPlays.com

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Production Questions

Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

Newbie Theater Teacher Expectations

The Reality

Play Production for Newbie Theater Teachers: Expectations Versus Reality

My Most Important Advice

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The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Stage Director

The Real Skills You Should Look For in a Director for the Stage

The Importance of a Leader Being Organized

You Don’t Want to Be This Director

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Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

Middle School Students Versus High School Students

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

Ten Important Elements to Consider When Directing a Youth Theater Production

I have one complaint

Create Your Own Musical Lesson

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Let’s talk about steps in producing a play or musical: stage makeup

This is a true story.

Now I’m not known to be very patient (although I am better now that I have grown older), so I looked around our house for the two ingredients I needed. Hmmm. I found a jar of petroleum jelly in my bathroom cabinet, but charcoal?

The only charcoal I knew of was charcoal briquettes. Being my impatient self and not taking into account that perhaps a charcoal briquette was the wrong kind of charcoal for my DIY mascara, I mixed it into the jelly anyway. Yes. I. Used. A. Charcoal. Briquette.

No kidding.

Needless to say, it was a flop. Upon entering our dining room for dinner that evening while modeling my “homemade mascara”, my mother let out an “Oh my!” Soon after she drove to a Merle Norman store and enrolled me in a class about makeup.

I have refrained from making any other makeup products since that day. I will admit that whenever we grill burgers over charcoal briquettes, I grow a bit misty eyed remembering my DIY makeup days..

The Thrill of Wearing a Costume

Like a costume, stage makeup ranks up there as one of the most popular aspects of theater. For some people, donning a costume and applying makeup IS theater.

A costume and makeup psychologically comforts the actor and helps him to feel “safe.” A good director, especially in amateur theater, must be careful not to lean on a character’s costume and makeup as the only characterization of an actor.

In that case, let’s just put the costume designer on stage and let her perform the show (I doubt she would appreciate that…) because the character solely originates with her and not the actor. Tsk,tsk…

Stage makeup is different than street makeup (makeup worn for everyday use). It is durable, saturated color and easily blended. It’s sturdy–you can cry, eat and have water thrown in your face and the stuff stays on!

Makeup Designer

Since this series of posts concerns producing a play or musical and the critical steps one must take for a successful production, I knew I should discuss stage makeup.

Do you have a makeup designer? If not, a good place to find one is through hairstyling salons. Most hairstylists are trained to do makeup as well as hair. Many hairstylists LOVE this kind of work, because it is so creative.

If I need special makeup (say, for Ursula in Lil Mermaid), I give them photos of my ideas first. Like set and costumes, a designer needs somewhere to begin in their designing. In your budget, you need an amount for stage makeup.

I include wigs and hair needs in that budget, too–hairspray, bobby pins, hair nets, etc. If a designer must build a mustache or beard, that is an additional cost. If you have someone who is familiar with stage makeup, so keep them around. They are invaluable.

If you don’t have budget money for a designer, perhaps you could acknowledge them through your program and give them complimentary tickets to the production?

Specific Makeup Products

Every cast member should own their own makeup, however some things can be shared if you are on a tight budget. If the makeup is selected ala carte, then I suggest you purchase:

You are going to pay more ala carte, than if you buy a kit or collection. Your actors may find that they like owning their own makeup. I have my own makeup when I perform.

Ben Nye Makeup is very good as is Mehron. I’m partial to Ben Nye myself. The kits can run as little as $20.00 and upward to $150 for a comprehensive collection. You’ll find what you need quite easily on line.

My favorite part of the whole experience (other than my husband, then fiancé who was the conductor) was the shower scene.

Something about those two scenes helped me past the worry. Every night as I stepped on the stage, I knew I was surrounded by a wonderful armor which carried me past my fears and supported my character in a way I could never have done all by myself.

That’s what makeup and a costume can do for you.

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net

I’d love to hear from you.

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Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

April Fools Day Theater Jokes for Theater People

More Theatre Jokes for April Fool’s Day

Theatrical Logic

In is down, down is front

ETERNITY: The time passes between a dropped cue and the next line.

PROP: A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor exactly 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.

DIRECTOR: An individual who suffers from the delusion that they are responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review.

BLOCKING: The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner so as to have them not collide with the walls, furniture, or each other, nor descend precipitously into the orchestra pit. Similar to playing chess, with the exception that, here, the pawns want to argue with you.

BLOCKING REHEARSAL: A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night.

QUALITY THEATRE: Any show with which one was directly involved.

TURKEY: Any show with which one was NOT directly involved.

DRESS REHEARSAL: The final rehearsal during which actors forget everything learned in the two previous weeks as they attempt to navigate the 49 new objects and set pieces that the set designer/director has added to the set at just prior to the DRESS REHEARSAL.

TECH WEEK: The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute. This week reaches its grand climax on DRESS REHEARSAL NIGHT when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown.

SET: An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space.

MONOLOGUE: That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if they forget a line, no one can save them.

More Theatre Joke Definitions

BIT PART: An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else’s lines and mention repeatedly that they have the smallest part in the show.

GREEN ROOM: Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn’t get a baby-sitter that night, a situation which can result in justifiable homicide.

LIGHTING DIRECTOR: Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that’s going wrong.

ACTOR [as defined by a set designer]: That person who stands between the audience and the set designer’s art, blocking the view.

STAGE RIGHT/STAGE LEFT: Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors batty. (e.g. “…No, no, your OTHER stage right!!!!”)

CREW: Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast and crew (including the director) has threatened to take out a contract one.

And finally, remember this: “It’s only theater until it offends someone…then it’s ART!”