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Don’t Ever Whistle in a Theater. Here’s Why

April 30, 2018 By dhcbaldwin 2 Comments

Never Whistle in a Theater--Here's Why

Don’t ever whistle in the theater. Here’s why.

We theater people are a superstitious bunch.  At least, I am.  I can scare myself merely walking to the bathroom in the dark in my own home.  (Ridiculous, I know.)

It only makes sense if you think about it– we have HUGE imaginations if we are any good at all on the stage.   There are certain things we simply do not do or say…

Never Whistle in a Theater

1. Never Whistle on Stage:

I was chastised once for whistling on stage.  (I whistle if I can’t sing at the moment.)  The history of this superstition was news to me.  Many years ago, stagehands were out of work sailors. Ships used ropes.  Theaters used a similar amount of ropes. Set pieces and people were raised and lowered in by rope, sand bags and fly systems.

Have you ever worked the rigging system of a theater?  It’s tremendous, especially counter weight systems which are still pretty common.

Whistling was used to cue other men backstage to raise or lower ropes. So if you were onstage and whistled you might face a sand bag to the face. Luckily, we now have headsets.

2. Break a Leg


We never wish each other good luck. Instead we say, “Break a leg”. What? I knew it was of historical significance, but apparently there are several possible origins. One thought is it came from ancient Greek Theatre when audience members stomped a foot to show appreciation of a strong performance. (Must have been pretty dusty.)  During  the times of Vaudeville theatre, actors wished each other “Break a leg”, because if they made it on the stage past the curtain legs, they expected to be paid. We aren’t certain where this superstition originated, but we continue to wish each other a break of the leg.

ballet dancers

3. Bad Dress Rehearsal Equals Good Opening Night

As a director and actress, I’ve experienced many a bad dress rehearsal.  If you’ve been involved in any amount of productions you will, too.  A bad final dress rehearsal is sign for a good opening performance. A good director paces the production to hit their peak at opening night.  Everyone knows this.

It could be nerves of the cast and crew’s impending performance which makes for shaky dress rehearsals. They know what’s coming.  I know one director who has no dress rehearsal and takes the night  off right before the show opens. (He merely has it a day earlier.) Yikes!

His thought is performers are much like racing horses at the gates.  With a night off prior to the opening night, it allows everyone to rest up, cogitate on their personal notes from the director and simply focus.

Maybe he’s hoping to ward off a bad dress rehearsal.  Frankly, I’m all about sleep. I would rather have a longer dress rehearsal on a Tuesday night and a shorter one on Wednesday night so everyone can get some rest before a show opens on a Thursday night, than to stress out everyone with a extended dress rehearsal on a Wednesday.

 


4. Flowers Gifts:

It is expected for performers to be given flowers especially on opening night.   Once this honor was given only on directors and leading performers, but it is common practice nowadays to show support and appreciation from family, friends, and fans.

So when is this bad? It is believed that receiving flowers before a show is as equally bad luck as saying break a leg. I never knew this!

I never allow my cast members to accept flowers on stage at the end of a curtain call.  Tacky, tacky.   Many years ago, we didn’t have florist shops.  So, in order to obtain flowers nice enough for a gift and for a cheap price, people stole from graveyards.

The superstition comes in when you give performers flowers that are associated with death before a show closes that you were bringing about the death of a show. Flowers were given after the show closed to symbolize the death, or end, of a production.

5. The Ghost Light:

Let’s face it– a dark theater is a scary and treacherous place. There are lots of things to trip over, bump into, fall into an orchestra pit or damage set pieces easily.  Most of the time the light switches for the backstage, or work lights is difficult to find even when other lights are lit.

While it might fend of pesky ghosts from playing tricks on shows, it also helps protect the unlucky few who are rummaging through the dark.

In an Equity theatre, the ghost light was the physical alert that you are no longer on the job. When a stage manager puts out the ghost light, he is signaling rehearsal or the performance is over for the evening and consequently no one will be paid after this moment.

shakespeare

6. The Scottish Play:

The last superstition is a wild one. What is the “The Scottish Play” you ask?  It’s William Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Many of us believe mentioning this name or even quoting lines from this show will bring disaster upon ourselves and our production.

History abounds for this superstition.  For instance, several famous actors (Charlton Hesten and Constantine Stanislavski) suffered catastrophes during or after a production of Macbeth. That’s a new one for me.

Also, it is said that Abe Lincoln read this play the night before his assassination.

Today, people associate its utterance to technical things going awry, actors forgetting lines, props and costumes mysteriously vanish, a freak storm closes the theater, and a bunch of other freaky weird things.

If you want to rid yourself of the curse, you must turn around eleven times and ask for forgiveness of Dionysis, the god of theater.  This sounds ridiculous, but I don’t want to take the chance that it could be true.

So, here’s my question:  What happens when one is performing Macbeth or directing it?  You have to recite the lines then.  Maybe it only works if you aren’t performing it?

Whatever.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not taking any chances…

Please forgive me, please forgive me, please forgive me.

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net

I’d love to hear from you!

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Filed Under: drama education, performing arts, Professional Theatre, storytelling, theater, theatre, youth theatre Tagged With: actor superstitions, actors, performers, stage superstitions, superstititions, theatre people, theatre people's superstitions, theatre superstitions

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

March 31, 2017 By dhcbaldwin Leave a Comment

Theater Jokes for April Fools Day
 
Happy April Fools Day! Theatre Jokes to Make you Laugh
I created this blog post, Happy April Fool’s Day: Theatre Jokes to Make you Laugh, because who doesn’t like to laugh? These jokes are not mine.  Credit goes to Whatsonstage.com and Goldenbeardrama.com.
I only compiled them from several sources, but for those in theatre…well, we get them. Enjoy!

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh


  • Two neighbors in Stratford claim that their home is the true birthplace of Shakespeare. Officials in Stratford proposed to solve the dispute by putting a plaque on both their houses.
  • Two deceased actors meet in heaven. One says: “Good grief, is that Trevor Nunn over there? I didn’t realize he was dead.” His acquaintance, who had a slightly longer experience of the afterlife, replied: “Oh no, that’s God- he just thinks he’s Trevor Nunn.” (I’ve known many an actor who thinks he’s God, trust me.  Not only are they obnoxious, but hacks, too.)

Happy April Fool's Day

Happy April Fool’s Day–Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

  • Q: How do you drown an actress?
    A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
  • Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Ten – one to hold the bulb and nine to say “it should be me up there”. OR…
    A: One – the actor holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.
  • Q: How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Hmmm… Lightbulb… Allow me to ponder the changing of the bulb.

(My daughter was in a Greek play while in college.  The director read 38 adaptations of a play before he directed hers.  It was horrible. Moral of the story:  You can read 1,000 adaptations but if you aint’ got the talent to direct it, it doesn’t matter.)

  • Q: How many producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Sorry, a new lamp isn’t in the budget.
  • (I know of one company who threw a very elaborate, expensive cast party, but denied a very dedicated, always responsible volunteer a complimentary ticket saying, “It was too expensive to give you one.” ????
  • Q: How many lighting designers does is take to change a lightbulb?
    A: None. It’s a carefully orchestrated blackout.

(Never, never make the lighting designer or crew angry.  They can easily put you in                  the dark because of it.)

Happy April Fool's Day

April Fools Day Theater Jokes for Theater People

  • An actor without technicians is a naked person, standing on a bare stage, in the dark, trying to emote. A technician without actors is a person with saleable skills.
  • A stage manager, a sound technician and a lighting designer find a bottle in a corner of the theatre. One of them rubs it and a genie pops out. “Since you all found me,” he says “you each get one wish.” The sound technician steps up and says, “I’d like a million pounds and three beautiful women.” POOF! The sound tech is gone. The lighting designer steps up and says, “Well, if he can have that, I’d like TEN million pounds, and my own personal island with 15 beautiful women!” POOF! The lighting designer is gone. The stage manager steps up and says, “I’d like them both back in ten minutes.”
  • If “All the world’s a stage, and all the people merely players”… who the **** has my script?

This one is spot on…

19 Jokes That Only True Theatre Nerds Will Understand

More Theatre Jokes for April Fool’s Day

(There is no one more hysterical or dramatic (pun intended) than an actor who can’t  find  his script, unless they are the overly confident actor who paraphrases anyway.)

Theatrical Logic

In is down, down is front

Out is up, up is back

Off is out, on is in

And of course-

Left is right and right is left

A drop shouldn’t and a

Block and fall does neither

A prop doesn’t and

A cove has no water

Tripping is OK

A running crew rarely gets anywhere

A purchase line buys you nothing

A trap will not catch anything

A gridiron has nothing to do with football

Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)

And a green room, thank god, usually isn’t

Now that you’re fully versed in Theatrical terms,

Break a leg.

But not really.

Child laughing
THE ACTOR’S LESSONS of DESTRUCTION

1. Compromise your principles early and get it over with.

2. Memorize all of the songs from “Cats.”

3. Wear as much spandex as possible to auditions.

4. Wear lots of “comedy and tragedy” accessories.

5. Take your art WAY too seriously.

6. Misquote Shakespeare.

7. If a director doesn’t invite you to callbacks, assume it’s a mistake and go anyway.

8. When you get to callbacks, ask the director “Will this take long?”

9. No matter how many conflicts you have, reply “none.” Hey, it can all be worked out in the end.

10. Overemphasize the lines they laugh at.

11. Mistreat props. Lose them. Take them home with you.

12. Tip the director.

13. Repeatedly ask techies, “Will this be ready by the opening?”

14. Assume the stage manager is there to clean up after you..

15. Stay up late power drinking before early morning calls.

16. Pause for so long after your monologue that they can’t tell if you are done or not.

17. Remember, although you can always be replaced, they can’t replace you until you’ve done a LOT of damage.

18. When your character isn’t talking, mug.

19. Why be onstage when you can upstage?

20. For a touch of realism, upstage yourself.

21. Give fellow actors advice on how to do their characters.

22. If you can’t get a grasp of your character, just do Jack Nicholson.

23. Blocking is for amateurs.

24. Eye contact is for actors afraid to stand on their own.

25. It’s not the quality of the role, it’s what you get to wear.

26. Wear all black and hang out in coffee houses.

27. Change your blocking on opening night.

28. Remember: frontal nudity gets you noticed faster.

29. Use your tongue to make stage kisses look “real.” Blech!

30. Break a leg. Literally.

Happy April Fool's Day

Theatre Jokes: The Actor’s Vocabulary (Edited)

 

ETERNITY:   The time passes between a dropped cue and the next line.

PROP:  A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor exactly 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.

DIRECTOR:  An individual who suffers from the delusion that they are responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review.

BLOCKING:  The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner so as to have them not collide with the walls, furniture, or each other, nor descend precipitously into the orchestra pit. Similar to playing chess, with the exception that, here, the pawns want to argue with you.

BLOCKING REHEARSAL:  A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night.

QUALITY THEATRE:  Any show with which one was directly involved.

TURKEY: Any show with which one was NOT directly involved.

DRESS REHEARSAL:   The final rehearsal during which actors forget everything learned in the two previous weeks as they attempt to navigate the 49 new objects and set pieces that the set designer/director has added to the set at just prior to the DRESS REHEARSAL.

TECH WEEK: The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute. This week reaches its grand climax on DRESS REHEARSAL NIGHT when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown.

SET:  An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space.

MONOLOGUE: That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if they forget a line, no one can save them.

More Theatre Joke Definitions

BIT PART: An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else’s lines and mention repeatedly that they have the smallest part in the show.

GREEN ROOM:  Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn’t get a baby-sitter that night, a situation which can result in justifiable homicide.

STAGE MANAGER: Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn their walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while they serve the tea.  

LIGHTING DIRECTOR:  Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that’s going wrong.

ACTOR [as defined by a set designer]:  That person who stands between the audience and the set designer’s art, blocking the view.

STAGE RIGHT/STAGE LEFT:  Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors batty. (e.g. “…No, no, your OTHER stage right!!!!”)

MAKE-UP KIT:  (1) [among experienced Theater actors]: a  battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of desiccation, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted  pencils, bobby pins, braids of crepe hair, liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes and a handful of half-melted cough drops; (2) [for first-time  male actors]: a helpless look and anything they can borrow.

CREW:  Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second  bursts of  mindless panic.

MESSAGE PLAY:  Any play which its director describes as “worthwhile,” “a challenge to actors and audience alike,” or “designed to make the audience think.” Critics will be impressed both by the daring material and the roomy accommodations, since they’re likely to have the house all to themselves.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:  Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast and crew (including the director) has threatened to take out a contract one.

And finally, remember this: “It’s only theater until it offends someone…then it’s ART!”

Happy April Fool’s Day!Happy April Fool's Day

 

Do you know any funny theatre jokes good for April Fool’s Day or any day, really? ?  I’d love to learn them.

I have quite a sense of humor myself.  If you’d like to see any evidence of it.  Check out this lesson:  

The Brave Little Tailor

Theatre Jokes to Make You Laugh

Contact me at dhcbaldwin@gmail.com or DeborahBaldwin.net


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Filed Under: community theatre, performing arts, plays, Production Questions, Professional Theatre, theater, theatre Tagged With: actors, directors, funny theater jokes, funny theatre jokes, playwrights, producers, stage manager, theater jokes for drama class, theatre jokes for theatre class

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